but I had a baaaad day yesterday. The day before I had fasted, and yesterday something in me snapped. It was BAM free day. I felt so horrible but kaPOW I was eating a bagel with full fat cream cheese, bread and butter, cheetos, ice cream, and there was even more but I am just too embarrassed to continue. That is the majority though. Anyhow, it was awful. Afterwards I decided it was alright, one free day once in a while isn't so bad, but then I kept trying to calculate what I had eaten and I knew if I did I would seriously freak. So there I was trying so very very hard to keep me from calculating calories, trying to find something else to think about, and finally I did! I found this show, it's perfect for me when I crave food but can't eat. Unique Sweets. It's the show about all these cool little sweet shops and all the neato things they make, which you would think would make anyone wild with hunger but no, it just makes me want to CREATE! It is so inspiring, all these amazing little candies and cakes. Today I ended up making some cookies (not too inspired, but it was the only thing I could make with the ingredients and tools I had) but I really want to try making caramel now. Unfortunately my boyfriend doesn't like caramel, and he's the one who usually ends up eating most of the sweets I bake. Maybe I can get my roommates to eat it. I really want to try a few times before December though, (gee think I have the time?) since I love giving homemade noms as gifts and I'm getting bored of giving out the same cookies each year.
Back to the point, this show is awesome. They have the best shots of the food, and paired with the gorgeous descriptions you may as well be eating them yourself. It's kept me from craving all day. Later I'll see how it fairs in stopping cravings that are already underway.
Oh, and the whole fasting/judgment snap didn't turn out too bad either. One reason I usually steer clear of fasts is I'm always worried about my metabolism slowing down, but what went on yesterday definitely remedied that, my erm...body has been...moving. Perhaps I should do this more often, a fast followed by free day, to keep my metabolism up. Even better, I can plan it around family gatherings so I can dissuade my family's worries. My family has decided I've lost enough weight already and they've started watching my intake a little too closely. This pisses me off a little, I started this when I noticed my dad watching each damn bite I had at dinner because he thought I was too fat. Rawr. But I'm being too harsh, I love my family and I can't blame them for this, it's all me. But seeing me eat on a free day should make them feel much better about my eating. Ahahaha.
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