Salt Water Flush

Today I am attempting the infamous salt water flush. I will by documenting the results throughout the day by editing this post and adding the new details. Little bit scared, I've never done anything so dramatic to my body before. Or at least, since last year when I started dieting. I used to do things like eating a whole bag of salt-and-vinegar chips, pretty damn bad for you and dramatic. So I'm trying not to worry and just hope for good results. If I can lose about 6 pounds within 2 days, I will have lost 70 in one year. If I can't do this, well, I don't know how I'll feel. I hope I don't find out. Hoping for the best, see you again soon.

Alright, it is 11: 43 and I managed to get it all down. 1 liter of water with 1 tablespoon of salt. I tried my best to just chug, but I've never chugged a thing before in my life and I just couldn't possibly chug this. I got about 5 gulps in before I had to stop to keep from gagging, and I had to wash my mouth out in between each 5 gulps all the way to the last drop. Stomach nearly rebelled before I finished it off, but I stayed strong and kept in control. Feeling dizzy and nauseous. No need to run to the bathroom yet.

12:09 and I've had my first bathroom run. I promised myself after this I would allow myself to drink some water, I've two bottles right here and a pot of tea for even later, assuming I'd need to seriously rehydrate. My mouth is incredibly dry but my stomach still feels bubbly so I'll wait a little longer to drink. My head is spinning and I feel fairly close to fainting. Pretty cold too. Otherwise, doing fine.

It's now 12:42 and I've had my second trip to the bathroom for my salt water flush. My stomach is a bit fluttery still but calmer then before, so I'm opening my first water bottle. Still cold and dizzy, but it's all a bit calmer then before. This isn't as bad as I feared but I could never do this to myself more then once a month, and that already seems like too much. I'm thinking if someone were to do this on a weekly basis they'd be dead within a month, or severely damaged within a month at least.

1:44 and trip 3 has come and gone. I feel like I can go about my day now, the dizziness is now barely more then typical low-cal day lightheadedness. My belly is no longer quaking and fluttering. I think the next update will be tomorrow morning, about whatever weight loss has come of this. Right now I'm going to go wrap myself in blankets and ingest little but liquid throughout the rest of the day. I feel empty and I'm trying to appreciate it instead of fix it, though I'm dreaming of stuffing my mouth.

Lewis Carroll and Halloween

Did you know Lewis Carroll had an eating disorder? I don't know enough about them to guess exactly which kind. But it was fairly well documented that he didn't enjoy eating, and when he did eat, he ate very plain foods. I find this interesting because you can see this in his books, if you read them properly you can find pro-ana material in them. Alice has trouble everytime she comes across food until she starts eating boring food in moderation.When she comes across sweets and interesting drinks, bad things happen to her. The only reason I wouldn't really call the Alice books truly pro-ana and why I wouldn't call Lewis Carroll anorexic is that Alice doesn't just grow uncontrollably, she also shrinks uncontrollably. Any one with any familiarity with anorexia would know that shrinking is good, it's what is desired, to be the same on the outside as you are on the inside; tiny, delicate, small. Until Alice learns to eat not just plain food (mushroom over cake) but eat that food in severe moderation, she can't control her own size. This is a classic symptom of eating disorder, controlling food makes you feel you have control over yourself and your life. And Lewis Carroll was a firm believer in controlling food closely. I did all this research several months ago though, so I may have forgotten a few things. I remember there was something about how he attended dinner parties, or how he gave dinner parties. I plan on re-researching this, perhaps writing a paper just for fun.

Anyhow, hello again. I fell off the wagon for a few weeks, but even then I kept my intake under 1200 calories a day. I'm back, max is 900 again. I've been drifting around 115 lbs, haven't gained anything but haven't lost either. It seems all my favorite blogs have been abandoned. I keep wondering what happened to the bloggers. Did they just give up? Did they simply stop writing? Or maybe something happened to them, something big and life changing, some sickness or death in the family, perhaps a new job and a new city and things got too busy. I miss them. I hope they're okay.

It's Fall. I love Fall. I might love Winter more, but they're awfully close on my favorite seasons scale. I have a pumpkin in my lap as I type, and my fingers are cramping from sewing my costume. I'm making a capelet from an old hooded sweatshirt I bought at GoodWill. It's turning out really well, so I'm including the link to the instructions I found on making it, below this paragraph. Have a lovely Halloween, fill it with masks and shadows, not sticky-sweet candy who's flavor will be gone in seconds.

Capelet Design